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  • Dr David

Am I Lukewarm for Christ? Am I Lukewarm for My Spouse?

Updated: May 27

Recently, I've been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. The chapter on being lukewarm in my relationship with Christ was a particularly eye-opening chapter in several ways. I think lukewarm was a very good description of how I was living my life with Christ. In the chapter Francis gave several descriptions of what lukewarm Christians live like. As I went through that list, I realized many of those were good descriptors for how I was living my day to day life. So now, I made an active choice to change from lukewarm to hot and be much more passionate, active, and a bit loud about my relationship with and love for Jesus Christ. Thus, the start of this blog, my new website, and my upcoming podcast about spiritual and mental health. But, what did Francis mean by lukewarm?



What do Lukewarm Christians look like?

In his book Crazy Love, in chapter 4, Francis offers several great descriptions of what a Lukewarm Christian looks like.

  1. They attend church regularly because it is what is expected. They don't attend out of a deep love for Christ

  2. They give money to charity and to the church - as long as it does not impinge on their standard of living

  3. They tend to choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict. They desire to fit in at church and outside of church so they don't ruffle feathers.

  4. They don't really want to be saved from their sin. They want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin.

  5. They think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven.


As I went through this list, I realized there was many areas of growth for me. But another, unexpected thing happened - as I believe often happens when we listen to God and what his messages are for us. I started to question, "What other relationships in my life am I lukewarm in?" As I examined my relationship with my wife, whom I love dearly and with all my heart, I realized I was also living in a lukewarm way. It's amazing how easily we can become complacent and not put in daily energy and passion into the relationships that are most important in our short lives.


Tip: Nobody wants anything served to lukewarm. They either want their relationship with you to be hot - full love and passion that you have for them or they want it to be cold - so they know they should move on. And think about it. Have you ever asked for a lukewarm coffee at a coffee house? Yuck!


Here’s how to do it:

  1. Remember your only priorities: God, your spouse, & your children.

  2. Everything else is extra and secondary: your job, your hobbies, politics, friends

  3. Put all of your energy and love into your relationships with God and your family

  4. If there's any energy left, then use it for other things - such as hobbies

  5. Love God, your spouse, and your children as if you could be gone tomorrow - What will their last memories of you be? Will it be a wonderful memory of how much loved them? Make every moment with God and your family wonderful!

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© 2023 by the Christian shrink and David Lombard, Ph.D.